


Honey, give yourself completely.

by pinkvelvet



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Character Study, F/F, because what else am i gonna write, Перевод на русский | Translation in Russian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 18:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17451989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkvelvet/pseuds/pinkvelvet
Summary: In the seconds after being stabbed, there’s a lot of time for your mind to wander.





	Honey, give yourself completely.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is other than another thing for school that evolved into a villaneve character study lmao. I made it mature because I’m paranoid lol. Anyways, this is set literally right after Eve stabbed Villanelle.
> 
> russian translation: https://ficbook.net/readfic/7912323

There was something about lying in a pool of your own blood. It wasn’t the same as any other feeling triggered by dealing with one's own blood in such large amounts. It wasn’t the bone deep fear of choking on your own blood, feeling it bubble up and out of your throat, gushing towards the surface like a geyser. It wasn’t the same offputting feeling that ran through your body at seeing blood bead in little drops from the thin slice of a papercut. 

 

It was a feeling of understanding. Of being resigned to your fate.Of having to come to terms with your fate from the second the blade had entered you, and of now simply waiting. A sort of  _ what can you do? _ feeling. You can’t more, or it might get worse. You sure as hell can’t stop it. You really can’t do much of anything.

 

So you sit and you think. You think of her face, how it was cold as she sat atop of you. Almost proud of herself for actually going through with it. How quickly that cold pride morphed into fear, the kind that’s so loud on someone’s face that you can hear it in the air. 

 

She apologized, you think. That was new. No one has ever apologized for trying to stab you. Trying being the key word, because no one’s actually ever  _ succeeded  _ in doing it before. That’s new too. Everything about her it new.

 

You liked her at first because she reminded you of the past. Of Oksana and of Anna and of soft hands and wild curls and dancing and kind eyes. That had been new to you, the kindness. New then just like she was new now.

 

The first time you had seen here, you felt a strong sense of deja vu. Like you’d met her before, like the two of you knew each other. Looking back, it was probably the resemblance to Anna. Or maybe it really was something else; maybe it was divine intervention from the Lord himself. Whatever it was, it took your breath away for a long moment. The way she looked underneath the fluorescent, flickering bathroom light made you, for a very brief second, want to abandon the mission and stay. Talk with her, learn about her. You hadn’t felt that way in a while, not since Nadia. Not since Anna.

 

But she was not Anna. She was not scared of you, at least not anymore. She  _ knew _ you, or thought she did. Maybe you thought so too. She was here, afterall, in your private little place, the only place in the world that truly reflected who you were. And if she could get here, to this physical representation of your soul, then didn’t that mean she knew you?

 

Well. You would never know, in any case. Because you were here, lying in a pool of your own blood, and she-

 

She was in your kitchen. Looking for a way to save your life. She was foolish; it was not a life worth saving. Doing so was a lost cause at this point, anyways. But still, she shuffled through your drawers and cabinets, looking for some way to halt what she had put into motion. And if she wasn’t giving up, wasn’t going to let this little game the two of you had been paying end so quickly, then why should you?

 

In an excruciatingly painful effort, you pushed yourself up off the bed and onto the floor, reaching for the weapon that you’d let fall there. You lifted it, took aim - if you were going to keep this game going, you would need some time to first get out of here. Especially considering the state that you were in.

 

The shot was close, but not too close. Nothing dangerous, at least not with you behind the gun. It did as intended, scaring her into staying put just long enough for you to make and embarrassingly ungraceful escape. Your hands slipped a bit in the blood that had begun to pool on the floor that you were sitting as you pushed yourself up with a soft grunt. On your way out of the apartment, you passed the old landlady, who must have heard the commotion and came to check what was happening. Nosey old maid.

 

You didn’t get to see or hear her reaction at you being gone. You wondered if she’d be upset, if she expected you to stay. You wondered if she would worry, fret over what became of you. You would have to get a message to her soon, as soon as you were able. But for now, she would just have to sit and think about what might have happened to you. You smiled at the thought.

 

_ Sorry baby. _

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter: DYKEDIO  
> my tumblr: polstriis


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